Dads and flats

Littles / tagged / / by

Dads and diapers. The punchline to a million jokes, and the brunt of much angst among mothers.

While quite a few fathers are more than on board with the idea of saving money when it comes to necessary evils like diapers, the intimidation factor is high; many dads seem to feel inept even thinking about cloth diapering a baby, let alone using (gasp!) flats. For some reason, a stereotype exists that says cloth is hard, it’s messy, and folding is for professionals only.

Uh, no.

All cloth is totally doable for anyone otherwise able to change a diaper— and since I’ve led curious 4 year-olds through the process on more than one occasion, I can pretty much assure you that anyone able to parent a child can be lumped into that group.

Anyone who knows my husband knows that he’s Super Dad. (I am not exaggerating! The man was actually honored as Father of the Year by a parenting organization in Washington.) But guess what? It’s not his amazing parenting skills that allow him to morph a sheet of cotton into the perfect airplane fold and wrangle it onto the bum of a baby. It’s just doing it.

In his words:

There’s no question, the flats at first were intimidating. Why would anyone choose to use them when there are so many prefold options?

But price is definitely one reason, and if you’re on a tight budget, like we are, then prefolds often aren’t affordable.

As it turns out, the flats aren’t that difficult to use and they hold more in than you’d actually think. Wash them and hang them to dry, and they definitely are ready to use much faster than any other cloth.

My only advice, especially with squirming babies, is to have lots of pins available (I’m often unprepared and searching for one nearby!). And once a bit dull, toss them. It takes a sharp pin sometimes to get through the layers.

It’s true, I’m still more likely to grab a prefold or fitted if one is available since we’ve used them for years and have them, but there’s no reason not to use flats as a sole source of cloth diapering or as an option among several varieties.

As a dad, it turns out I’m not only capable of using them, I’m also impressed with them.

 

My tips for getting Dad on board with flats?

  1. Do the math. Show how how much you could spend, then show him how much you will spend. That’s usually pretty much all it takes to sway a guy on the fence.
  2. Make it easy. Fold your flats straight out of the dryer, stack them in the changing area, and keep pins & covers at hand.
  3. Teach him folds. I’ve sat with my husband and demonstrated folds, but if your guy prefers pictures or videos, offer those.
  4. Don’t make it your thing alone. Because it’s not. Real men, after all, change diapers. Doesn’t matter what kind!

Flats Challenge

$6 per week, or less than $150 total?

Littles / tagged / / by

Links contained in this post may direct to affiliate sites. 

The cheapest disposable diapers I can find online run $6 for a pack that a family might (might!) be able to stretch to last a week. At that insanely low price, two years of diapering a baby looks like $624 — which is pretty much the lowest quote I’ve ever heard.

Except …

I can diaper for two years for under $150.

How? Meet the stash I’m using this week:

$6 per week -- or $150 total?

If you purchased all of the above new, you’d spend right around $140. Comb resale shops and groups, and you’ll save more.

I chose this stash to highlight a few principles:

  1. It doesn’t have to be a diaper to, you know, be a diaper. Gifted a glut of receiving blankets at your shower? Repurpose them for baby’s bum. As diapers themselves, or cut into wipes, they’ll serve quite well without costing an added dime.
  2. Super absorbency (especially for nights!) is totally possible. Fruit of the Womb Diapers are my go-to for nighttime. They are still flats, with the supreme washability and quick dry time. But these are outrageously thirsty, and never let me down.
  3. Wool is your friend. A nice wool cover is a splurge, yes … but good wool (like the Disana above) will earn its keep by keeping your bed dry, and baby happy. I think it’s worth the money spent.
  4. Bamboo flats are an upgrade, but they also hold more. If you’re bare bones on your stash in terms of numbers, think bamboo. My one yea-old can last two hours in a single bamboo flat. That’s just six changes per day. With the stash above, you could manage laundry every other day.
  5. One-size covers stretch pennies. The largest single investment above is in covers. (Flips and a Rumparooz, not a blueberry!) However, those covers above have literally been in use for my son’s entire first year, and will, with care, make it through to potty training. In the long run, that’s a pretty handy return!
  6. Flannel wipes save even more money! You’re washing diapers anyhow —throw wipes into the bucket, too! Every bit counts.

Join me tomorrow as we talk about fathers and flats… and why your husband can totally diaper your baby!

Flats Challenge

Food, rent … or diapers?

Littles / tagged / / by

As I write, there’s a plastic bucket sitting next to my toilet holding the day’s dirty diapers. My first act tomorrow morning? Washing those diapers in my tub and hanging them out to dry.

Not because I have to. Because I choose to.

Unlike so many families around the globe, I have a washer, and a dryer. I have electricity around the clock. My house is fully plumbed.

I have diapers.

This isn’t the reality of many mothers the world over. It certainly isn’t the situation many mothers here in America face; concern has been growing over the so-called “diaper gap.” A new awareness has finally dawned as those who have pause and consider that those who have not are pressured, daily, to provide everything … right down to what’s covering their baby’s bottom.

In March, The White House revealed a new initiative designed to meet the needs of the nearly 1 in 3 families confronted with either keeping the lights on or buying diapers. The problem? The focus was solely on disposables– which must be purchased over and over again. No mention of the frugality and freedom of cloth!

Cloth is impractical, critics contend. Without a washer or dryer, you can’t do cloth. Daycares won’t deal with it. And who can afford the start-up costs?

As someone who has faced the same challenges being addressed by those trying to cross the diapering divide, I know that the arguments don’t actually hold water. Handwashing is a viable option. Cloth-friendly daycares exist; even if they won’t accept cloth, using it at home takes the pressure off somewhat. And cost? Folks, you can cloth diaper on the cheap. Trust me.

With this in mind, I’m participating in the Flats and Handwashing Challenge for a second year. Using a one-time investment of inexpensive flats, receiving blankets, and covers, I’m hoping to convince at least one person that cloth can work for a family forced to choose between food and diapers.

Check back throughout the week to follow my journey.

Flats Challenge

And then they do

Bigs / / by

Once upon a time, they were babies.

They were small, and helpless, and you wondered if they — or you— would ever survive the learning curve that was young family life.

Of course, they made it. You did, too. There were mistakes along the way, heaven knows. Things said that should have never been given voice, things not done that really should have made their way on to the priority list.

But when it was all said and done, you stood back and you marveled because there, in front of you, was a fully-grown adult person. A person with likes and dislikes and passions and dreams and plans. Oh, the plans. Life was a wide-open possibility for this freshly-minted grown-up.

And your heart strained, just a little, to see how differently they had turned out from what you had expected.

He really listens to that music, huh? Wow. It’s so … rough.
She’s going to live in that neighborhood? I kind of always expected her to be a country girl.
He never picks up a book anymore. Guess I messed that whole “lifelong learner” up somehow …

But then, you see it.

Maybe it’s a phone call, asking for your recipe for cinnamon rolls. Or a text asking where you bought the candles that always smelled so good. Or a photo in your inbox: “Do these jeans work? I can’t tell!”

A friend recently shared that her daughter has finally dipped her toes into her passion. This friend is known for many things: her giving heart, her sly wit, her ability to encourage. She’s also know for her quilting. A true artist, her work shows all the hallmarks of hands gifted by God and set in motion by a joyful creativity. For years, her adult daughter has found her happiness elsewhere, leaving her mother to assume that she would always quilt alone.

But then …

A request: “Can you help me put together a little something …”

Of course.

Because you never assume that your child will walk, lock-step, in your footsteps. You never assume that they will want to embrace all the things that make you you.

And then they do.

And you couldn’t be happier.

Have your teens or adult children embraced any of your hobbies or passions? Do you work on them together?

Change for a change

Resources / / by

We’re always looking for ways to promote generosity at our house, especially when it comes to money.

About 15 years ago, we began dropping our spare change into a tin canister that once held a watch.

Before we knew it, we had more than enough change to help a young woman raising support for full-time ministry. Hopefully, it was a blessing to her, but it certainly was a blessing to us.

Since the beginning, we’ve collected hundreds of dollars, and we decide as a family who or what to support.

We also keep a record of every donation we make. Nothing fancy, just a piece of scrap paper with a few scribbles as to the amount given and where it went.

It’s been fun to look at through the years, and it’s always an encouragement that a little change can go a long way.

Want to read the whole story? Click here for the full piece at our To Sow A Seed blog.

Extending the lifestyle of learning

Bigs / tagged / / by

Since our first unsure steps as homeschoolers, we’ve understood that meat was hung on the bones of education by way of experience.

 

Early classroom educators understand this, too; it’s why our kindergarten memories center on hatching chicks and emerging butterflies, on paper cups of dirt sprinkled with grass seed, and trips to the farm to watch the sheep lose their fleece. In the best schools, these memories are still made. But even in those schools that fit the definition of “best” by society’s standards, hands-on learning, field trips, and other opportunities to learn outside of a textbook dwindle as students inch nearer graduation. Kids whose grasp of the politics of abolition might be enriched by standing inside the recreation of a slave’s cabin are never given the chance; it’s enough to read the dates, store them in short-term memory, and regurgitate them on a test that might bear the fruit of a college acceptance letter.

 

Most homeschoolers lament the rote, mechanical learning offered in most educational institutions. We see the shortsightedness, we feel the disconnect, and we vow to do it differently. And we do.

 

We make a lifestyle of learning important. We buy electricity kits and raise tadpoles. We go to art galleries and visit with a farrier to see horses shoed. We prioritize our educational spending, setting aside funds for museums and aquariums and zoos.

 

If you’re like us and living on a budget, maybe you even rotate, getting one big ticket membership each year, and visiting that spot so often that by the end of twelve months your kids can tell you exactly how much growth the coral reef in the back tank experienced. (True story.)

 

But then, high school looms.

 

And those tests …

 

And suddenly, maybe a visual cataloging of the snakes in the reptile house at the zoo isn’t as important as learning to fill out a lab report. Or maybe all those times you blew off math in favor of another field trip to see the hardships of pioneer life up close really won’t pay off on the SAT. Plus, there are all those pre-programmed teams and groups and extra-curriculars that are going to score major points with admissions offices. And ohmygoodness, I do not have time to take you to see a staging of Lés Mis! You have to do 10 more pages in that analogies book before Saturday!

 

Breathe, Momma.

 

You know now the reality of the saying “the days are long but the years are short.” Your time homeschooling any one child is limited, even if your season of teaching your own covers 30 years or more. Achieve the goals God has called you to, yes. But don’t forget that going, doing, seeing, being has a richness — and a value— all its own.

 

You will not regret extending your lifestyle of learning into the teen years. You will not regret the discussions that arise from even the most tired and trite of outings. (Don’t believe me? Take your high schooler to a fire station.) You will not regret journeying as a family, asking questions, and learning together.

You will not regret it. But you will remember it.

Extending the lifestyle of learning | To Sow a Seed

 

This post first appeared on To Sow a Seed.

The price of mobility

Bigs / / by
If you’re a large family like us, then chances are you work hard to balance the budget each month.
We’re very blessed by what the Lord gives us and want for nothing that we truly need. But now that the children are getting older (Read that: Now that they’re able to get their driver’s license), we’re faced with a new financial dilemma — the price of a young driver’s auto insurance.
And simply put, it’s virtually unaffordable.
Which has led us to praying through and weighing the benefits of allowing our children to get their license at 16 or waiting until perhaps 18 (or even older).
Already, we have one daughter who’s 18 and doesn’t drive. She manages without a car for the time being, although that likely will change soon. The demands of her current studies will require a more convenient mode of travel than Dad driving her everywhere but for the time being, the benefits of paying for her auto insurance or asking her to work to pay for it do not outweigh the costs.
And the son turning 16 in May is completing his driver’s education requirements now, albeit without any expectation that a driver’s license awaits him later that month. It’s more about convenience and cost-savings that he’s taking the course now.
He’d like to work this summer to earn money, but not necessarily so as to pay for auto insurance. With a grocery store within walking distance, we don’t need another driver to run up and get some milk or eggs, and there’s no other place he currently needs to drive.
So here we are. Two children living in the United States and of or near the age to legally drive, and we still haven’t done it.
Costs are the biggest hindrance, but our needs at the moment just don’t dictate it. We can wait, all of us, and our children haven’t been raised to expect it.
Each of you is different, and we’re sure you’ve found other solutions to your car and driving dilemmas. Share your thoughts below. We’d love to hear them and are sure other straddle parents would, too. 

Easing the goodbye

Straddle Stories / / by

Easing the Goodbye | Straddle ParentingOne of the hardest parts of Straddle Parenting — and one I admit snuck up on me — has been helping my younger children understand, anticipate, and even celebrate the transitions that young adulthood has brought for their older siblings.

Unlike children who occupy the same or next-step-under seasons of growing up, kids who are in their elementary years aren’t fully clued in to the fact that their high school-age big brother is going to be driving. On his own, to places they aren’t invited. Or that their much-older sister is going to disappear for months at a time in pursuit of this thing they keep calling “college.” Never mind the fact that a beloved brother or sister might just get married … and only come back when a cross-country airfare is affordable.

Watching my 7 year-old sob through the days leading up to and immediately after our 18 year-old left for college was heart wrenching — for all of us. Even though we had mentioned that she was leaving, even though he had seen the preparations, even though he heard the plans … somehow, it didn’t fully sink in that she was well and truly going to a place where he could not curl up into her lap and bask in the love he took for granted.

Taking notes from that first, tearful separation, we were much more purposeful about her second absence. Even though it came up suddenly, with less prep time for emotional processing or even getting the practical stuff done, her little shadow took it much more in stride. Tears? Sure. But absolute, heaving heartbreak? Not this time.

Here’s what we are finding helps to prepare little hearts for the changes that having Bigs brings:

Give notice. As much as possible, let them know what and when. In our case, this meant including not just the announcement itself at our family meeting over breakfast, but also the details as they shaped up each and every day. Overkill? Turns out, no. This was a great chance to pray for small pieces to fit together as a family, but also to keep little ears in the loop. So often, we assume that they absorb info as it develops, but this is not a time to take that for granted.

Find real-life examples. Look to family and friends, past experiences, anything you can to draw parallels between what’s coming for your Big when sharing with your Littles. The idea of “college” or “leaving home” can be hard to grasp when your concept of school is based around the dining room table or packing bags usually results in a vacation that you all take — and return from— together.

Let them talk. The temptation to fill the air with your own thoughts is great, especially if the transition is one that has you looking at your Littles and being grateful that you have at least a few more years of parenting to look forward to. But Littles need to process at their own speed, ask questions, and share their hearts. Have a listening ear handy in the quiet moments, when they are most likely to pipe up with what has them wondering.

Put technology to work. If you can, get in the habit beforehand of using texts, videos, even Skype or FaceTime to send news of note and declarations of love from your Littles to your Bigs. That way, communicating via tech will feel like a natural extension of their relationship, not a stand-in.

Set an end date (if applicable). We found that printing up a special calendar and marking the days until our daughter’s return helped Littles understand the temporary nature of their separation. This point of reference was a life-saver, even on long days when a certain Momma was missing her girl.

What have you found to be helpful for your Littles in navigating the changing family dynamics of Straddle Parenting?

 

Vacation… party of 11?

Straddle Stories / / by

It’s nearly February, and so if we’re to take any kind of vacation or make any kind of getaway this year, it’s time we get down to business.

First, because everyone else is busy planning their 2016 vacations, and second, because on as tight a budget as we live, we’ll need to start saving NOW to make anything for such a large family work.

Which has brought us to quite the conundrum. We’re not sure what to do. 

Vacations aren’t something we usually do (our last was connected to travel for ministry before we moved to Nepal), but now that we’ve been living on the East Coast for a full year, and with so much opportunity around us, it just seems like now is the time to start exploring.

So what can a family with nine children do on as little money as possible, yet still have a great time? Or is it better to look for two getaways — one geared toward the older children and a separate event for the littles?

Tell us, what have you done recently with your family (all or in parts), and how did it turn out? Lessons learned? Ways to save? What are your plans for this year? 

Share with us your ideas, and we’ll share them with others right here at www.StraddleParenting.com. And who knows, maybe we’ll see you there!